So you think you can play the guitar? Good for you. But what you really need is a mindcrushing name:

1.

Für Art Pop:

Klaus Biesenbach

Album:

Kale

2.

Für Boxenludergasolina:

Boom–Box–Bonnie & the Influencers

Album:

Daddy, me horny

3.

Für Serious German Electro:

Teslatango

Album:

Brückenschäden

4.

Für Stadium Rock:

The Brothers of Awesomeness

Album:

GTO

5.

Für Schlager:

Svenja Luna

Album:

Silberschweigen

1.

Because Hip-Hop is dead.

(Well of course, it’s NOT dead. But a little too caught up in its complexity)

2.

Because Helene Fischer lost the key to her Tonstudio.

(Not sure, if this is a good or a bad thing)

3.

Ibiza steckt in der Midlife-Crisis.

(And so does its Sound)

4.

The world has woken up to Cuba (again).

(And the Age of Irony is over. Die nehmen die Pet Shop Boys mit in die Rente)

5.

Spanish is a funny language.

(„Poquito–Mojito–Chico“ pimpt jeden Urlaubsflirt. Go ask the Bienenmann…)